Category: Quotes – Humor
Hmm, nobody likes jazz that much. Even the guy playing it had to take drugs — Bart Simpson.
Hmm, nobody likes jazz that much. Even the guy playing it had to take drugs — Bart Simpson. d.c.k. Continue reading Hmm, nobody likes jazz that much. Even the guy playing it had to take drugs — Bart Simpson.
It all makes sense now…
It all makes sense now. Gay marriage and marijuana are being legalized at the same time. Leviticus 20:13 says if a man lays with another man, he should be stoned. We were just misinterpreting it! As seen on CertifiedFunny d.c.k. Continue reading It all makes sense now…
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
Toronto: Drake Hotel’s Calgary Flood benefit is cancelled due to flooding.
“Free Your Mind And Your Ass Will Follow” — George Clinton
Read the menu!
Scene at a restaurant in Toronto Guest to waiter: What can you recommend? Waiter: I recommend you read the menu! d.c.k. Continue reading Read the menu!
Simplicity of lie…
This is what CBC News had say about the new pope in an article. The typo has been corrected in the meantime. Definitely a funny mistake! d.c.k. Continue reading Simplicity of lie…
Trombone players…
Talk to a trombonist during a break & he’ll ask you for a gig, try to sell you insurance or offer to mow your lawn. Continue reading Trombone players…
Two guys walking down the street…
Two guys walking down the street, one is a Jazz musician. The other guy is also broke. d.c.k. Continue reading Two guys walking down the street…
I can’t say all is forgiven, but most is forgotten – Grampa Simpson
I thought I made a mistake, but I was wrong….
Angela Merkel goes to Greece…
Angela Merkel goes on a trip to Greece. At the border, the Greek immigration officer asks her: “Occupation?” Angela Merkel: “No, just visiting”. d.c.k. Continue reading Angela Merkel goes to Greece…
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded the dough!
I used to be a banker but then I lost interest.
“I’m in pretty good shape for the shape I’m in.” — Mickey Rooney
If you watch Rocky backwards, it’s a movie about a guy who gets beaten up so severely that he’s forced to marry the ugliest girl in town.
“This is so overt, it’s covert!” — Sherlock Holmes
Overheard in Strassburg between Merkel, Monti and Sarkozy…
Monti: “My name is Bond – Euro Bond” Merkel: “My name is No – Dr. No!” d.c.k. Continue reading Overheard in Strassburg between Merkel, Monti and Sarkozy…
Daniel Kölsch - Saxophones, Clarinet & Flute 